“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Proverbs 29:11
I am so not proud of this but I went full FOOL the other day as another driver and I got into a bit of a melee. Honest to goodness, I lost complete control of myself and went off on someone who was twice my size, both in body and in truck.
The details really don’t matter. Who was right (me) and who was wrong (him). See, still, I have to point out and justify my point of view with those parentheses. That’s all ego. No real damage done. Just rage. Pure and simple rage. My sister said to me, obviously, he’s dealing with his own demons. Well, apparently, I am dealing with my own as well.
I know, in the end, I have to take responsibility for my own actions. Period. I really lost it. And it’s been on my mind ever since. This other person may have started it, but I was certainly going to end it. How did I let that happen? Why did I lose control? Nothing like this has ever really happened to me.
Forget for a moment that I could have been pummeled or worse, shot. After all, people are dying in road rage incidents these days.
I have been praying about this. A lot. I am human. I am flawed. I need God to help me. I know I have a pass with God’s grace and all, yet I can’t help but wonder, what will I do if there is a next time? How will I respond? Will my ego take over again? Can I step away and breathe when I’m being assailed?
I don’t want to react. I don’t want to lose control. While in the heat of the moment, I may have felt a tad of release and justification…but it wasn’t worth it. Not only that, it’s not who I want to be. At all. Not even a little bit.
So today, and every day, I pray to forgive and let go. I pray that if something like this ever happens again, I am ready to be a true warrior and take the high road. I walk away, drive away. I remain calm. Through the storms of life, I can be wise.