Loving Jesus

I confess, I am a pyromaniac. As such, I was having a fire a while back, burning up some old magazines (those supply you with vibrant colored flames)  when I came across one that had an advertisement in it for a movie called Killing Jesus.  

Holy dear God, I thought. Why can’t we focus on loving Jesus? Knowing Jesus. Why do we have to continually be reminded of the gruesome facts of His death? Because He died for our sins, does that mean we will be reminded of this until our end days?  Would He really want that? 

Thus, this blog post was born.

Honestly, one of my gripes from growing up in the Roman Catholic tradition is this fact alone: our focus seemed to be too many shades of gray away from Jesus’ actual teachings like loving one another, judging no one, serving others, serving our Father, etc…

At St. Theresa’s we would go to mass regularly. It always freaked me out to see Jesus on the cross, taking center stage as he does in so many churches. It scared me to learn about his torture and death. Other parts of the Bible scared me too. And it wasn’t just Revelations.

We’d recite things regularly like robots during service: Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed.

I see why I shied away from my faith for awhile. Why I had to leave for a time and then slowly but surely make my way back.

Why can’t we focus on knowing Jesus and the miracles he performed and the life he was leading? Who was He, really?

I know who he was. Son of Mary and Joseph. Conceived by Immaculate Conception. Worked as a carpenter. Performed miracles. Lots of miracles, that had never been done before. Scared the beJesus (I had to) out of the powers that be, only to find himself an enemy of the state and his people.

Those are the simplified highlights. What about the day to day real guy? Who was he? Did he stop carpentry when he grew with his passion? Could he tell a good joke? How did he handle his growing popularity back then?

Does it matter if I believe all this? If I question what I’ve been spoon fed? What if I only get certain highlights and throw away the rest? Does that make me less of a Christian?

I have more questions than answers today. But one thing I know for certain, my love for Jesus has never been stronger and it’s been through the asking that my faith has grownIMG_1645

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